Sunday, March 1, 2009
Yo dawg that shit is dope
Yeah, the reviews don't excite me too much anymore. I'll try to get some writing up. I agree that we should do more of the content, I just enjoy scavenging for writing, and I'm just throwing any possibilities up on the blog.I don't care too much about the urine pages either, though I really like Pete's boggle paper. Anywho, I'll put up a Barthag soon (ironically, it will be a little scaveng-y, but in a good way). Do you have any writing from yourself or others on the way? I have a few people I will continue to pester, but other than that what you see is what I have.Irina pointed out I should give the zine library past issues of Bullshit (I do very little distrobution). I remember you have given them some already, which ones?
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Boo boo boo
Hey darling-
So, at first I was confused by the movie reviews. Then, I thought about what it must be like to be a neglected has-been who needs to spend $3 million dollars so I can get $3 HUNDRED million dollars from my rich uncle! MAN!
They rule~It took me about 4 or so to get that the punch line was the identical, breathless plot summary. It made me laugh a lot. The title of the article is "The Madness of Crowds: Movie Reviews, or why do people even tell us what they think?", yes?
Ryans doodles are great and would go well as illustrations in the body of articles.
On another note from trolling the internet for rutland/madness of crowds-type writing, I think we should refrain from using too much of other people's content when possible. Not so much because I am worried someone will find out we are using their stuff without permission, but because in our own way I believe we can do it better & weirder than they can.
I guess, really, what I am trying to say is that my friend Shannon did this in MS Paint and it rocks so fucking hard I cant even believe it:
So, at first I was confused by the movie reviews. Then, I thought about what it must be like to be a neglected has-been who needs to spend $3 million dollars so I can get $3 HUNDRED million dollars from my rich uncle! MAN!
They rule~It took me about 4 or so to get that the punch line was the identical, breathless plot summary. It made me laugh a lot. The title of the article is "The Madness of Crowds: Movie Reviews, or why do people even tell us what they think?", yes?
Ryans doodles are great and would go well as illustrations in the body of articles.
On another note from trolling the internet for rutland/madness of crowds-type writing, I think we should refrain from using too much of other people's content when possible. Not so much because I am worried someone will find out we are using their stuff without permission, but because in our own way I believe we can do it better & weirder than they can.
I guess, really, what I am trying to say is that my friend Shannon did this in MS Paint and it rocks so fucking hard I cant even believe it:
Sunday, February 22, 2009
So, honestly....
The Madness of Crowds: Movie Reviews, or why do people even tell us what they think?
Basically this is where I troll Netflix and look for reviews I think are funny. I thought this was a humorous series of (real) reviews, but it might just be to me. What do you think? I’ll put another one up if/when I do another.
Brewster’s Millions
Names have not been changed because they’re so bad
In a glance:
Washed-up baseball player Montgomery Brewster (Richard Pryor) learns that he's inherited a $300 million fortune from his deceased, rich uncle. To get the cash, however, Brewster must spend $30 million within 30 days -- and have absolutely nothing to show for it. Baseball buddy Spike Nolan (John Candy) helps Brewster with his spending spree while snooty attorney Warren Cox (Stephen Collins) watches his every move.
Skyerose: I think this film shows that money isn't everything, but it sure is fun watching Brewter trying to spend it! It's interesting to see someone have to spend that much money in so much time, as most people would think that would not be hard at all! One of the best of the 80's.
Tarheel Chemist: Brewster's Millions (1985): I had forgotten how funny Richard Pryor could be. Pair him with John Candy and you have a great buddy movie. We all assume that more than enough money will solve all of our problems, but this film takes that idea to task. I like the premise of this film. Brewster is a washed up minor league pitcher who stands to inherit a fortune, with only one catch. He has to spend 30 million dollars in ONE MONTH with enough rules that it won't be easy. Watch the supporting cast, isn't that Rick Moranis as an annoying repeater guy? There's Yakov Smirnoff as a cabby. It can teach a valuable lessons about the pitfalls of easy money. This film brings back some great memories and I really enjoyed watching it again. Besides it has an entertaining message about wasteful spending and greed.
Mudwhistle: An interesting Richard Pryor film that I really liked. It's PG rated which makes it something the family can enjoy. Imagine being willed millions of dollars and having to spend it all so even more millions will ether belong to you or given to someone that is up to no good. Problem is you can't tell anyone why you're blowing all that cash for seemingly nothing. It would make everone think you were going mad. That's the rub and that's what makes this film so interesting.
crsunlimited: Richard Pryor is the best. This is the only movie that I can watch and it will completely alter my mood. I can watch this movie over and over again. Brewster inheirits $300,000,000. But in order to get the full inheiritance he must agree to a test where if he looses he gets nothing. So he must spend $30,000,000 in 30 days and not have any possessions to show for it. He most own nothing but what he had before the reading of the will. That thought alone is worth alot. How do you spend $30,000,000 without accumulating any possessions and not destroying anything inheirently valuable.
SpzReviewVault: Yeah you wish you had to spend 30 million in 30 days huh? Well watch this movie and go through Monty's journey of 30 days and $30 million. This movie is comedic and of course with Richard Pryor the acting is "screwballish". A great watch...also co-starring John Candy, and if you look closely...yes you will even see Stephen Collins in his younger years "The Dad from 7th Heaven". This film is a great watch for everybody in the family to enjoy.
Psychohustle: Who couldn't or wouldn't love a friend who is one day broke playing AAA baseball and then the next day is a millionaire who has just purchased the same AAA baseball team and let's you be his financial advisor? This movie is one of my favorites. I love the fact that Monty Brewster has 30 days to spend 30 million dollars in order to inherit 300 million dollars. This movie will have you laughing and a little on the edge of your seat to see if he can spend it all. This is the "clean" side of Pryor at his best.
Hwkeye Pride: What can we say about Brewster's Millions. With the exception of "The Toy" this has to be Pryor's best film. Brewster inherits 300 million dollars but in order for him to receive that he has to spend 30 million dollars in 30 days or the firm in which Brewster inherits the money from keeps it. The catch is, he cannot have anything in his possession except the clothes on his back and he cannot tell anyone why he is spending all of this money he just inherited. This is a very funny but not too over the top comedy with a great cast. John Candy is funny as the side kick and I cannot think of anyone better to play Brewster. Think about how you would like to spend 30 million dollars but not have anything to show for it and you cannot tell anyone why you are doing it. I think it would be harder than most people think but I sure would have fun trying.
SQ 758771:This is such a good movie. Richard Pryor is totally lovable and John Candy plays a great sidekick. Its hysterical watching Pryor trying to spend 30million without having any assets and actually had me thinking how I would go about doing it. Its a feel-good funny movie with no violence, minimal cussing, and a good cast.
Abadoo: I grew up watching this movie on tape like everyday. It's refreshing to see Richard pryor doing clean comedy and teaming up with comedic genuis John Candy. The movie makes you think as well...Spending a million dollars a day for 30 days isn't as easy as it sounds.
ksd 13421:OK, this isn't laugh-out-loud hilarious, and John Candy is actually largely wasted in his role, but it's still a likeable comedy. Richard Pryor plays a decent guy who, although he wants his inheritance, is really a nice guy who just wants to do the right thing. Some mild language here and there, but nothing too offensive.
Basically this is where I troll Netflix and look for reviews I think are funny. I thought this was a humorous series of (real) reviews, but it might just be to me. What do you think? I’ll put another one up if/when I do another.
Brewster’s Millions
Names have not been changed because they’re so bad
In a glance:
Washed-up baseball player Montgomery Brewster (Richard Pryor) learns that he's inherited a $300 million fortune from his deceased, rich uncle. To get the cash, however, Brewster must spend $30 million within 30 days -- and have absolutely nothing to show for it. Baseball buddy Spike Nolan (John Candy) helps Brewster with his spending spree while snooty attorney Warren Cox (Stephen Collins) watches his every move.
Skyerose: I think this film shows that money isn't everything, but it sure is fun watching Brewter trying to spend it! It's interesting to see someone have to spend that much money in so much time, as most people would think that would not be hard at all! One of the best of the 80's.
Tarheel Chemist: Brewster's Millions (1985): I had forgotten how funny Richard Pryor could be. Pair him with John Candy and you have a great buddy movie. We all assume that more than enough money will solve all of our problems, but this film takes that idea to task. I like the premise of this film. Brewster is a washed up minor league pitcher who stands to inherit a fortune, with only one catch. He has to spend 30 million dollars in ONE MONTH with enough rules that it won't be easy. Watch the supporting cast, isn't that Rick Moranis as an annoying repeater guy? There's Yakov Smirnoff as a cabby. It can teach a valuable lessons about the pitfalls of easy money. This film brings back some great memories and I really enjoyed watching it again. Besides it has an entertaining message about wasteful spending and greed.
Mudwhistle: An interesting Richard Pryor film that I really liked. It's PG rated which makes it something the family can enjoy. Imagine being willed millions of dollars and having to spend it all so even more millions will ether belong to you or given to someone that is up to no good. Problem is you can't tell anyone why you're blowing all that cash for seemingly nothing. It would make everone think you were going mad. That's the rub and that's what makes this film so interesting.
crsunlimited: Richard Pryor is the best. This is the only movie that I can watch and it will completely alter my mood. I can watch this movie over and over again. Brewster inheirits $300,000,000. But in order to get the full inheiritance he must agree to a test where if he looses he gets nothing. So he must spend $30,000,000 in 30 days and not have any possessions to show for it. He most own nothing but what he had before the reading of the will. That thought alone is worth alot. How do you spend $30,000,000 without accumulating any possessions and not destroying anything inheirently valuable.
SpzReviewVault: Yeah you wish you had to spend 30 million in 30 days huh? Well watch this movie and go through Monty's journey of 30 days and $30 million. This movie is comedic and of course with Richard Pryor the acting is "screwballish". A great watch...also co-starring John Candy, and if you look closely...yes you will even see Stephen Collins in his younger years "The Dad from 7th Heaven". This film is a great watch for everybody in the family to enjoy.
Psychohustle: Who couldn't or wouldn't love a friend who is one day broke playing AAA baseball and then the next day is a millionaire who has just purchased the same AAA baseball team and let's you be his financial advisor? This movie is one of my favorites. I love the fact that Monty Brewster has 30 days to spend 30 million dollars in order to inherit 300 million dollars. This movie will have you laughing and a little on the edge of your seat to see if he can spend it all. This is the "clean" side of Pryor at his best.
Hwkeye Pride: What can we say about Brewster's Millions. With the exception of "The Toy" this has to be Pryor's best film. Brewster inherits 300 million dollars but in order for him to receive that he has to spend 30 million dollars in 30 days or the firm in which Brewster inherits the money from keeps it. The catch is, he cannot have anything in his possession except the clothes on his back and he cannot tell anyone why he is spending all of this money he just inherited. This is a very funny but not too over the top comedy with a great cast. John Candy is funny as the side kick and I cannot think of anyone better to play Brewster. Think about how you would like to spend 30 million dollars but not have anything to show for it and you cannot tell anyone why you are doing it. I think it would be harder than most people think but I sure would have fun trying.
SQ 758771:This is such a good movie. Richard Pryor is totally lovable and John Candy plays a great sidekick. Its hysterical watching Pryor trying to spend 30million without having any assets and actually had me thinking how I would go about doing it. Its a feel-good funny movie with no violence, minimal cussing, and a good cast.
Abadoo: I grew up watching this movie on tape like everyday. It's refreshing to see Richard pryor doing clean comedy and teaming up with comedic genuis John Candy. The movie makes you think as well...Spending a million dollars a day for 30 days isn't as easy as it sounds.
ksd 13421:OK, this isn't laugh-out-loud hilarious, and John Candy is actually largely wasted in his role, but it's still a likeable comedy. Richard Pryor plays a decent guy who, although he wants his inheritance, is really a nice guy who just wants to do the right thing. Some mild language here and there, but nothing too offensive.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
What's the deal with the hot tub thing? art preferences? If I had to cut art, I'd cut Ian's last eye pic or the pete and Noah pic. is there anything else you want in this?
For the hot tub thing I think we should choose maybe 3-4 of the reviews from his latest blog entry and use the pics included with them. In my opinion the piece should take up 2 or 3 pages so I guess lets just try to fit whatever we can in that format.
I have a bunch of people who have promised me stuff, but nothing from them yet. I'd like to release this issue and get folks over here a chance to read it before we are done accepting stuff for March. Hopefully I'll get 1-2 pieces. It would be especially awesome to get more female voices in the March one. I'm gonna start formatting stuff & getting it ready for March, but let's try to save some space for anything that might come in the next week or two. We can always, for instance, put 1/2 of ian's stuff in March, and 1/2 in april.
February 19: We still have a lot of room for stuff I think -W
For the hot tub thing I think we should choose maybe 3-4 of the reviews from his latest blog entry and use the pics included with them. In my opinion the piece should take up 2 or 3 pages so I guess lets just try to fit whatever we can in that format.
I have a bunch of people who have promised me stuff, but nothing from them yet. I'd like to release this issue and get folks over here a chance to read it before we are done accepting stuff for March. Hopefully I'll get 1-2 pieces. It would be especially awesome to get more female voices in the March one. I'm gonna start formatting stuff & getting it ready for March, but let's try to save some space for anything that might come in the next week or two. We can always, for instance, put 1/2 of ian's stuff in March, and 1/2 in april.
February 19: We still have a lot of room for stuff I think -W
Monday, February 9, 2009
Bromance by Mark Tully (www.Bromance.blogspot.com)
so theres this side project
that youve heard of but not really. its called bromance
and you dont get it cause youre not in it.
if you wanna kinda sorta get it but not really then come to a show tommorow
thats in a place that you wanna know and i wanna tell you
but not really. so if you wanna come you know what my phone number is
and if you dont then you can ask i think.
bromance is really awesome and youd rather be dead
than not listen to it. trust me.
im trustworthy.
The Mizeducation of April Hurley by April Hurley (www.zonedout.blogspot.com)
Yea today was aiight.
I went out to eat with Janet, her lil sister Natty and Colleen. The place we went to eat at
was straight.
the food was pretty damn good actually.
After that Colleen went t Ft. Myers w/ Issac and Janet and I chilled. We rented
some more movies n Janet went to wash her car. As we pulled up to dry it off
some busted ass niggah came up to me
asking me for my number
and then for some money for the bus. Made me sick to my stomach .
I told him
I had a boyfriend.
God guys like that make me
so fucking sick.
N e way, it was straigth chillen w/ Janet. Since Colleen has a man n Janet n I r free.
We r chillen a lot now. but I have no hope. I'm ugly
and I'm looking for "the one" so yea expect me to go to prom stag...
I'm a Jr. by the way..
Damn it why does life have to be so fucking hard.
I'm fustrated.... so fuckinf fustrated. Maybe I'm not playing the game right...
who knows......
Not much to say. I'm kinda upset about dating.
God I mean I swore I would never ever make myself inferior
to the true person I am inside. But a it seems..
I'm gunna have to...
.. .I guess.
DAMN IT
I Wet the Bed by sonny (www.withered.blogspot.com)
If your the type of person
that opens a can of soda drinks half then leaves it...
i hate you.
These type of people are the scum of the earth
and do this act habitually and
it is disturbing.
If these types of people are to purchase their own can of soda surely
they will drink the whole thing.
These people attack at parties and work functions
or at work on a normal day -- you know who you are and i dislike you
and want to shove the half can of soda beer whatever
into your ear hole until soda drips down your neck from it
and you get all sticky
and you realize that the stickiness on your neck and how it bothers/irritates you
is how i feel about you
when i find a half empty can of beverage
so theres this side project
that youve heard of but not really. its called bromance
and you dont get it cause youre not in it.
if you wanna kinda sorta get it but not really then come to a show tommorow
thats in a place that you wanna know and i wanna tell you
but not really. so if you wanna come you know what my phone number is
and if you dont then you can ask i think.
bromance is really awesome and youd rather be dead
than not listen to it. trust me.
im trustworthy.
The Mizeducation of April Hurley by April Hurley (www.zonedout.blogspot.com)
Yea today was aiight.
I went out to eat with Janet, her lil sister Natty and Colleen. The place we went to eat at
was straight.
the food was pretty damn good actually.
After that Colleen went t Ft. Myers w/ Issac and Janet and I chilled. We rented
some more movies n Janet went to wash her car. As we pulled up to dry it off
some busted ass niggah came up to me
asking me for my number
and then for some money for the bus. Made me sick to my stomach .
I told him
I had a boyfriend.
God guys like that make me
so fucking sick.
N e way, it was straigth chillen w/ Janet. Since Colleen has a man n Janet n I r free.
We r chillen a lot now. but I have no hope. I'm ugly
and I'm looking for "the one" so yea expect me to go to prom stag...
I'm a Jr. by the way..
Damn it why does life have to be so fucking hard.
I'm fustrated.... so fuckinf fustrated. Maybe I'm not playing the game right...
who knows......
Not much to say. I'm kinda upset about dating.
God I mean I swore I would never ever make myself inferior
to the true person I am inside. But a it seems..
I'm gunna have to...
.. .I guess.
DAMN IT
I Wet the Bed by sonny (www.withered.blogspot.com)
If your the type of person
that opens a can of soda drinks half then leaves it...
i hate you.
These type of people are the scum of the earth
and do this act habitually and
it is disturbing.
If these types of people are to purchase their own can of soda surely
they will drink the whole thing.
These people attack at parties and work functions
or at work on a normal day -- you know who you are and i dislike you
and want to shove the half can of soda beer whatever
into your ear hole until soda drips down your neck from it
and you get all sticky
and you realize that the stickiness on your neck and how it bothers/irritates you
is how i feel about you
when i find a half empty can of beverage
Rutland monthly piece (one or the other)
I lived in VT for 7 yrs or should i say i was stuck in VT... I am a 39 father of 4 children 3 girls, 13, 10, 9 and a 7 yr old son. My family owns one of the inns on rt 7. I moved there with expectations of friendly people and country living, WELL!!!! (NOT)... Ill have you know that the Bennington, Rutland, and Brandon areas are nothing but white trash hillbillys!!!!! the locals are unfriendly rude and really cheap! I do have some friends in VT but they are few and far between! although VT is really pretty the laws and the nature freaks/Hippies are making life in VT a serious challange. The schools are about 3 yrs behind (atleast) the police- Constables, sheriffs state police, town and city polce have but one objective giving tickets to anyone going 5 miles an hr o more then the posted limit. the newspapers withhold more then you could know. The crime in VT is out of controll!!! considering there is only 680,000 full time residents.the stste of VT extradites their convicts to other states and pays 6,000,000$ a yr to house them but then they pass laws like act 250 that states you can not have bright lights or lighted signs for you business due to the fact that the light would obstruct the view of the stargazers.there is little or no work in VT. I had to relocate because i wasnt a logger or a maple syrup maker. most jobs pay min wage but dont worry there is a light at the end of the tunnel!!!! VT is the easest State in the country to get social serveces assistance. Take a drive or a walk through Rutland or better yet west Rutland or as the local teens call it SLUTLAND!!! (Welcome to white trash heaven).... OH!!! and dont forget that they have Amtrac for you convinence, thats what the locals like to call the cocain train!!since Rutland is full of oxycotten and crack!!!!(I **** you not)!!! however VT does a pretty good job putting bandaids on gaping wounds! they hide it well. OH yea if you have a drinking problem dont worry! I believe rutland VT has the most bars per sq mile in the country! most of rutland is on wellfare just spend 1 hr at the local food store youll see it. there are at least 15 fast food stores in a 2 sq mile radius 20 gas staitions 25 bars and of course every VTers favoite Walmart! which by the way is the only parking lot thats ever full, in my experiance VTs are untrust worthy and always sceaming for a buck, but they arent totaly to blame though it has come to my attention that most VTs have never left the state of VT. The ones who go on Vacation generally go to some place colder and more desolit like (Maine) I never said VTers where stupid becaus that in itself would be ignorent, however i will tell you they are very very unlearned...I have also noticed that most VTers dont go to church (I do) and most churches have very low attendance. when the pope Died a couple of yrs ago a friend -VTer seen the head lines in the Rutland herald (page 2 by the way) the front page was all abou bettsy the cow and how she had a calf! anyway my friend replied to the Pope's death he said (you mean there is really a guy names the pope?) he thought that was a joke when someones complaining you say ahhhh tell it to the pope, (VT humor) haha (NOT).i was in the Army Guard in VT and every November we had off when i asked why i was told for hunting season! VT is its own worst enemy.... it is only a matter of time till it all comes down. when i had 3 of my 4 in elementary school the stopped teaching for 2 months (im not kidding) in Damby VT they started teaching basic manorism...... how to chew your food how to wash your hands wipe the corner of your moulth say please and thank you.....well guess what imy kids knew that when they were 3 or the just didnt get what they wanted... (hellooooo) so my kids lost 2 months of school because a few 6th grades still picked their nose. well if your a liberal like most vters are your ok with that you no the Whole no cild left behind thing (CRAP) I also went to commuinty college in VT- what a joke! I took a human sevices major. in my classes their were so many arguments about things like homosexuality and how its ok (thats not what the taught mein church. Their were arguments about interracial marriges (now im not a hater infact i have 2 half black sisters and my step father was black. but in my opinion which is just mine their are serios cultural differances in mixed marrige and for a VTer to argue with me also being from the new york city area its rediculous because VT is only 2% black and from what ive seen most of them only come on the Amtrc if you know what i mean! stay 2 week and leave. HHHHmmmmmm. VT is the road to nowhere. and honestly there is no more deer for hunting they killed them all. I would also like to let you know there is nothing fo children or teens to do exepy the boys and girls club and i wouldnt ever put my kids with those un supervised unmannerd rude kids or their toothless parents. OH ps.... you know the toothbrush was invented in VT......otherwise it would have been called a teethbrush!!!!!!! hahahahahahha. this is all true ! no lies no exageration.....
RUTLAND, Vt. -- A woman who was eight months pregnant was drunk and on her way from a baby shower Saturday when police caught up with her and charged her with driving under the influence, according to Vermont State Police.
Ursula Gacusana, 32, of Strong's Avenue in Rutland, Vt., faces charges for driving on a suspended license -- she had two previous DUIs -- in addition to the new DUI charge, state police said.
Gacusana was stopped in Rutland City at 11:16 p.m. for weaving in and out of traffic without using a turn signal as well as speeding, police said.
Her license was suspended due to the prior DUI charges, police said.
During sobriety exercises, Gacusana told police she was eight months pregnant and didn’t realize she had consumed alcohol at a baby shower, police said.
Gacusana was taken into custody bad a blood-alcohol level of .133 percent about one and a half hours after the traffic stop, police said. The legal limit to drive in Vermont is .08 percent.
Image by: X
Formatted?: Not yet.
Edited?: Uh..
Notes: Number 1 or number 2?
RUTLAND, Vt. -- A woman who was eight months pregnant was drunk and on her way from a baby shower Saturday when police caught up with her and charged her with driving under the influence, according to Vermont State Police.
Ursula Gacusana, 32, of Strong's Avenue in Rutland, Vt., faces charges for driving on a suspended license -- she had two previous DUIs -- in addition to the new DUI charge, state police said.
Gacusana was stopped in Rutland City at 11:16 p.m. for weaving in and out of traffic without using a turn signal as well as speeding, police said.
Her license was suspended due to the prior DUI charges, police said.
During sobriety exercises, Gacusana told police she was eight months pregnant and didn’t realize she had consumed alcohol at a baby shower, police said.
Gacusana was taken into custody bad a blood-alcohol level of .133 percent about one and a half hours after the traffic stop, police said. The legal limit to drive in Vermont is .08 percent.
Image by: X
Formatted?: Not yet.
Edited?: Uh..
Notes: Number 1 or number 2?
Dr. Centeno
HOW TO IMPRESS NORTHERN CALIFORNIAS BECAUSE YOU ARE FROM A COLD, OR OTHERWISE INHOSPITABLE CLIMATE.
by Dr. Centeno
Hello everyone. My name is Dr. Centeno, and I’m here to discuss a phenomenon I recently experienced while visiting my beautiful girlfriend for the first time ever in sunny Marin County, California (we met one year ago over a certain fan message board on the ‘net. Maybe some other time I will write a guide on how to meet beautiful women who have interests similar to yours, like Jeffa Mangum16, my girlfriend). The phenomenon I am talking about is when it is warm outside in the wintertime! In California there is NO SNOW AT ALL in the winter, and get this: instead of snow, there is sun almost all the time, except when it’s raining. You did not hear wrong, folks. I know a lot of you reading this in cold climates can’t believe your ears right now, and that's just the thing.
I myself was raised in good old home sweet home New England, and some folks just don’t know the meaning of “New England winter”! I made it one of my missions when I was in California to educate the nice people about the true meaning of cold weather. I got pretty good at it, too. Now I am going to share what I learned so you folks can try it too if you ever come to beat the frost.
The first thing you’ll notice out here is anybody from a cold climate will talk about how warm it is, and how cold it ISN’T at least once per day. It doesn’t really matter the temperature at the moment. For us New Englanders, I’d say this is probably our second most favorite thing to talk about, ever. I’m not sure what #1 is, but whatever it is it’s a pretty close race. This is a great way to meet other New England folk, and an excellent way to impress California natives. On most days I talked about the winter five times easily, talking to a different person every time. Also, this was before I was even being intentional about it. You can get away with ten if you aren’t hanging out with your girlfriend all day.
People around here will say “hey, it’s cold out,” when really it only is “chilly” by New England standards. For those of you not familiar, “chilly” is on a completely different magnitude than “cold”. Back East it gets cold, and THEN it gets so cold we need to make up phrases that don't even make any sense like “cold as a witch’s tit” or “balls ass cold”. BEFORE YOU EVEN ASK: yes, we really do say stuff like that all the time. Do you know how cold a witch’s tit is? If you said “no,” you have never been to Massachusetts in February before.
Another thing you can do is just wait until somebody complains about the ordinary California cold. This about as lucky as if you were missing an arm and somebody in the room complained because their arm hurt. It also presents a great opportunity to ask where they are from. If they are from some frigid place you can have a conversation about how the temperature is nothing in comparison to back home. Better yet instead of asking just "where are you from?" you can ask, specifically, if they are from the West Coast. This way if they are indeed from Central California they will immediately know just from asking this question you must be from a climate much harsher than anything they have ever experienced in their life. Also they will think you are really smart because you guessed where they are from just based on some offhanded comment they made about the weather.
Finally, if you are back at home in New England and you meet someone from a warm climate you can say “Just wait until the winter comes!” Another great thing to ask in this situation is “have you ever seen snow before?” You really should ask this at every opportunity you can get. If they say “no” you can tell them all about how freaking freezing it is about to get. If they say “yes”, however, people like this usually have all kinds of stories they normally don’t get to share because nobody even knows what snow is in warm places, I guess.
If they say “yes” but do not share a story you can just say “well, you haven't seen anything yet. Just wait until you see snow like this.” It doesn’t really matter how many years they have already been living in the Northeast because you are actually from New England so you have pretty much automatically survived more winters than they have, unless they’re super old, or something.
Other great topics of interesting conversations:
-How much exactly all the change you've ever dropped adds up to
-If you think life during the dinosaurs' time was basically the same
-How if you're an actor you probably have to be real close with your agent, when it comes down to it
-It's been forever since you both went to the movies
-How in heck is laundry detergent bad for the environment anyway?
Anyway, this stuff should be super helpful when you don’t know what to say to somebody from one of the warmer parts of the world. This might not seem helpful as you might think during your day to day life, but the moment you go on a trip you’ll see because you’ll be using this knowledge like, every day. Dr. Centeno,wikkawikka! out.
Formatted?: W Will do it
Edited?: Edit this please <3>Do we need to do something before it's finished?:
Image by Shannon May
Heather's Piece
We used to ride bikes past the "New Oakland market" in Chinatown and make jokes about how we were now in New Oakland, a different city. Someone told me there's actually an Old Oakland someplace in China. People came from there and ended up building New Oakland. I guess to them it really is a different city. It looked different today. Naked, bathed in grey winter gloom. Bright enough. The colors weren't gone, they were different. A translation--not just toward grey--into a different era. Some photoshop effect I can't name, which makes everything look like it's been dulled, then enhanced. Empty lots with garbage that looks like a sculputure from far away, then just looks like garbage when you get up close. If you get close enough you can see tiny drawings on it, inhabiting the void between intentional art and insane doodling, making some kind of profound statement about this place. You can see a chain link fence dramatically sheared into a permanent shadow of the car accident that must have happened there. You can see the new condos popping up like weeds, everywhere.
I know why I moved here. We craved the opportunity to live next door to a decaying, abandonded victorian on the last street in town. We couldn't wait to live across the street from an empty lot that used to be a junk yard guarded by dogs. We wanted to be close to the history of a dead industrial district. We wanted to wander up and down streets without streelights where only big rigs go and marvel at the cracked ruins of the oldest buildings we could find. Leaky warehouses and factories that find themselves un-self-consciously obsolete. We wanted to tread up and down the stairs at the old train station and feel the crowds brush past us, hear what it must have sounded like when these empty decaying platforms were busy with the excitement of people experiencing train travel for the first time. We came here to get away from everyone else who was always complaining about us. The neighbors who were always calling the cops because we were too loud, the cops for driving around waiting for us to do something they could stop us from doing. We came for the quiet, the noise, and the ghosts.
So why are they here? Who wants to live in these new condos, anyway? There's nothing here but liquor stores and gunshots at night. Sometimes during the day. Most people live here because they have to--because they can't go anywhere else. The city built them into an isolated box to keep them away from everyone else.
Now, somebody comes and knocks down the old warehouses and builds these new modular gated communities? With the cement, stucco, and corrugated metal, they look like an uneasy union of a parking garage and a shanty town. Stucco waiting to get wet, crack, and discolor. Metal paneling waiting to rust. It looks worse than temporary.
Formatted?: Not yet.
Edited?: Yep.
Do we need to do something before it's finished?: Ready!
I know why I moved here. We craved the opportunity to live next door to a decaying, abandonded victorian on the last street in town. We couldn't wait to live across the street from an empty lot that used to be a junk yard guarded by dogs. We wanted to be close to the history of a dead industrial district. We wanted to wander up and down streets without streelights where only big rigs go and marvel at the cracked ruins of the oldest buildings we could find. Leaky warehouses and factories that find themselves un-self-consciously obsolete. We wanted to tread up and down the stairs at the old train station and feel the crowds brush past us, hear what it must have sounded like when these empty decaying platforms were busy with the excitement of people experiencing train travel for the first time. We came here to get away from everyone else who was always complaining about us. The neighbors who were always calling the cops because we were too loud, the cops for driving around waiting for us to do something they could stop us from doing. We came for the quiet, the noise, and the ghosts.
So why are they here? Who wants to live in these new condos, anyway? There's nothing here but liquor stores and gunshots at night. Sometimes during the day. Most people live here because they have to--because they can't go anywhere else. The city built them into an isolated box to keep them away from everyone else.
Now, somebody comes and knocks down the old warehouses and builds these new modular gated communities? With the cement, stucco, and corrugated metal, they look like an uneasy union of a parking garage and a shanty town. Stucco waiting to get wet, crack, and discolor. Metal paneling waiting to rust. It looks worse than temporary.
Formatted?: Not yet.
Edited?: Yep.
Do we need to do something before it's finished?: Ready!
Hot tub party
http://hottubpartyblog.blogspot.com/2009/01/like-phoenix-cresting-from-tomb-to.html
Formatted?: Not yet.
Edited?: Not yet.
Do we need to do something before it's finished?:
Formatted?: Not yet.
Edited?: Not yet.
Do we need to do something before it's finished?:
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